Your Clone: Fight or F@%K?

neko-chan · 2010-10-31T21:54:46-01:00

Here is the set up: Assume you are locked in a room with a perfect clone of your current self. There are no doors, no windows, no cracks. The clone will completely disappear in one hour, and then you will be released from that room by, lets say robots, who will then self-destruct. No one will ever see what you do, no one will ever know what happens, no one on the the outside world will ever even know that you were locked in a room with your clone for an hour. So here is the question... [size=12]Do you fuck or fight yourself? [/h] It is important to note two things: 1.) Those are your only choices 2.) You are the only one who will ever have this opportunity. In every dimension and in all of existence you will be the only one to ever have this dilemma made manifest. NO ONE WILL EVER HAVE THIS CHANCE AGAIN. EVER. Now a lot of people would say "Damn thats extreme - I'd just want to talk to myself." But that is the problem, you're talking to yourself. You can do that right now. This clone is going to be you in every way - your memories, your outlook on life, your opinions, likes and dislikes are going to stay the same. The conversation is going to go nowhere. You're just going to be pleasing yourself by talking to someone who agrees with you in every way. So why not take it a step further? And I know what your thinking: "But we're the same sex! Thats gross and illegal in some parts of the world!" Hey look, NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW. Your clone won't even care. Just accept the fact that you're okay taking it from yourself and your clone will feel the same way because you are the same person. Now is the time to tell if your a good kisser without hearing the usual BS from your romantic partner about how you shouldn't, "worry honey, because everyone kisses differently." Hell, if you've ever been bi curious, now is your chance to experiment with the most intimate partner ever - yourself. It's practically like masturbation but think about this added bonus - your clone will know all your turn ons and exactly how to please you the right way. Plus, all those dirty things you never were never able to try with anyone else are now just one-wink-to-your-clone away. Nothing is off-limits. But maybe you're thinking, "My clone probably does know my biggest turn on: The opposite sex." Fine, then it may be time to beat the shit out of yourself. Imagine, there will never be a better fight anywhere. Ever. This is because the both of you to are equally matched. You know each others weakness and strengths. You have the same endurance, speed, and power. You'll be fighting like goddamn ninjas as you'll easily predict and block each others moves. Don't worry about the cops or any hurt feelings, this is just me fighting with myself to determine who is the one[b]. Plus, you can punch yourself for all the dumbshit you've done that nobody ever knew about but knew you deserved to get roundhouse kicked for. [b]But you wont feel it cause you did it to your clone. [size=10]People Die when they're killed!? Are you fucking shitting me!? [/h] So here is your chance to literally kick yourself for not asking out that person to prom. You can literally kill yourself for the stupid shit you did. At least it is better thank porking yourself right? Or is it? The truth may very well be that your an absolute psychopath, and once the clone version of you realizes he only has one hour to live he may just rip out your goddamn eyeballs and stuff them into your ear holes due to the adrenaline and desperation of their situation. You're going to die anyways so you might as well take down the asshole who got you into this situation in the first place. So you might have a great time sparring... ...or maybe you just got in way over your head. Or maybe, you should of just fucked yourself. It would of been so much easier[/i] [size=10]Pictured: Not how you planned things turning out[/h] [size=14][b]So what's the answer? [/h] That is for you to decide. I noticed that this argument tends to result in a lot of girls saying they'd get it on with themselves (which is hot) while guys can't get over the fact they are dealing with the same sex and thus resort to violence (not as hot but still kinda hot). Then again, if you don't find yourself attractive enough to bump uglies with, why would anyone else? Should you do it just for the sake of confirming that someone somewhere wants your body even if it is only a clone of yourself? If you like, check out the full article at Cracked.com. Then immediately come back here and tell me why you'd totally make-love-to/beat-the-shit-out yourself.

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What do you shout?

neko-chan

14 years ago

Kalistean wrote...

neko-chan wrote...

Kalistean wrote...

I would kill myself and eat me.

Much like Chinese food, you'd be hunger again an hour later since the clone disappears - including disappearing from your stomach.

I wouldn't be doing it because I was hungry. I would be doing it to eat myself.

Is this one of those things where you become more powerful by eating the heart of your enemy? Or are you just....

oneshott

14 years ago

Well I am a deviant, so I'd probably end up having wild sex with myself.

Takerial Lovable Teddy Bear

14 years ago

neko-chan wrote...

Kalistean wrote...

neko-chan wrote...

Kalistean wrote...

I would kill myself and eat me.

Much like Chinese food, you'd be hunger again an hour later since the clone disappears - including disappearing from your stomach.

I wouldn't be doing it because I was hungry. I would be doing it to eat myself.

Is this one of those things where you become more powerful by eating the heart of your enemy? Or are you just....

I'm fucked up.

Pervy Fatman

14 years ago

i'd fight my own clone to see who is the better

Zero_Hour

14 years ago

Fight! There can only be one...

shinji_ikari Mustn't Run Away...

14 years ago

I'd fight...loser gets ass fucked...

Sneakyone

14 years ago

Id fight him, and kick his ass

GracefulDiscension.

14 years ago

Knowing me I'd prolly beat the shit out of him.

Rusty Hammer

14 years ago

neko-chan wrote...

Now a lot of people would say "Damn thats extreme - I'd just want to talk to myself." But that is the problem, you're talking to yourself. You can do that right now. This clone is going to be you in every way - your memories, your outlook on life, your opinions, likes and dislikes are going to stay the same. The conversation is going to go nowhere. You're just going to be pleasing yourself by talking to someone who agrees with you in every way.

one of my hobbies is being contrary. i like to try and argue from both sides of any subject. also, i'm not one for physical violence(or effort for that matter). so i would kick back and start talking about different things that i haven't been able to debate with anyone else. but the closest i'd get to fighting would be playing that game where one person puts their hands out palms up, and the other puts theirs on top, palms down. then you try to slap them before they move thier hands.

now that i think of it, the same point applies to fighting. if you are exact equals, what would be the point of fighting? in the words of prof. Farnsworth, "perfectly semetrical violence never solved anything".

i have hemroids, so fucking would be no fun at all. 69 maybe, depending how long it had been since i last got off.

neko-chan

14 years ago

Mr.Shaggnificent wrote...

neko-chan wrote...

You can argue two sides of an argument inside your own head. If you need to hear you voice than use a tape recorder.

Mr.Shaggnificent wrote...

but the closest i'd get to fighting would be playing that game where one person puts their hands out palms up, and the other puts theirs on top, palms down. then you try to slap them before they move thier hands.

Did you remember the second rule? You are saying that although you are the going to be the only being in all of existence to have this experience you are going to spend it by playing hand-slapies with yourself? Thats awesome - but only in a place where awesome means "totally gay like Richard Simmons".

It isn't like you can't play that game with another human being.

Mr.Shaggnificent wrote...

now that i think of it, the same point applies to fighting. if you are exact equals, what would be the point of fighting? in the words of prof. Farnsworth, "perfectly semetrical violence never solved anything".

It solves the need of you deserving a kick to the groin for causing your parents divorce.

[quote="Mr.Shaggnificent"i have hemroids, so fucking would be no fun at all. 69 maybe, depending how long it had been since i last got off[/quote]

I - wait... no your right that sound bad... You should probably stick to the fighting...

TensaZangetsu08

14 years ago

Personally I think every one needs a good beating simply because seeing your own blood confirms that you're human, thus I choose to fight myself. I'm a violent person anyways, I just bottle it up so I see this as the perfect opportunity to let it all out...and what better person to let it all out on than myself?

theonewhoeats

14 years ago

I'd like a good spar. However, Shaggnificent makes a good point. It would be a pretty mindfuck of a fight which probably end like: "I'm gonna throw a right-cross. But since he is me, he knows that I am going to do so. But since I know that he knows that I am gonna do so, I'm gonna faint and switch it up with a left-hook. But since he knows that I know that he knows...*collides heads, double k.o*"

It would probably end up as uncool as that.

I don't wanna fuck myself though...

Fuck it. Starring contest it is.

neyapuckachinha

14 years ago

SLAYER NEXUS wrote...

Why not, I'd make myself my own bitch.

That's what your clone thinks, too. Leads to fighting...

I thing I would fight 'til only one of us survived, probably.

Room101 Waifu Collector

14 years ago

I always wanted to fight myself on that giant field of blades.

That would far more satisfying than simple sex.

Plus, since I resemble my parents quite well, and my mother in particular, I can take out all of my shit against them, and my whole family, on the clone.

And in the end, there can only be one.

bfg10k17

14 years ago

A clone is fine too.

KnowsNoNoseBleed

14 years ago

animefreak_usa wrote...

That be a lot of words for simple masturbation.

chukky-jr

14 years ago

sometimes i wanna hit myself for thinking too much fuck or blahblahblah

so i go with the fight

niell

14 years ago

The girls will obviously wanna fuck their clones.

Guys obviously won't, so they'll choose fight.

GreenZero Get Jinxed

14 years ago

I would probably fuck, just because it might be one of the best times I'll ever experience.

Circe

14 years ago

archreaper990 wrote...

The girls will obviously wanna fuck their clones.

Guys obviously won't, so they'll choose fight.

I want to be a feminist an disagree...

But I would definitely be scissoring the shit out of myself.

x D

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