Your Clone: Fight or F@%K?

neko-chan · 2010-10-31T21:54:46-01:00

Here is the set up: Assume you are locked in a room with a perfect clone of your current self. There are no doors, no windows, no cracks. The clone will completely disappear in one hour, and then you will be released from that room by, lets say robots, who will then self-destruct. No one will ever see what you do, no one will ever know what happens, no one on the the outside world will ever even know that you were locked in a room with your clone for an hour. So here is the question... [size=12]Do you fuck or fight yourself? [/h] It is important to note two things: 1.) Those are your only choices 2.) You are the only one who will ever have this opportunity. In every dimension and in all of existence you will be the only one to ever have this dilemma made manifest. NO ONE WILL EVER HAVE THIS CHANCE AGAIN. EVER. Now a lot of people would say "Damn thats extreme - I'd just want to talk to myself." But that is the problem, you're talking to yourself. You can do that right now. This clone is going to be you in every way - your memories, your outlook on life, your opinions, likes and dislikes are going to stay the same. The conversation is going to go nowhere. You're just going to be pleasing yourself by talking to someone who agrees with you in every way. So why not take it a step further? And I know what your thinking: "But we're the same sex! Thats gross and illegal in some parts of the world!" Hey look, NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW. Your clone won't even care. Just accept the fact that you're okay taking it from yourself and your clone will feel the same way because you are the same person. Now is the time to tell if your a good kisser without hearing the usual BS from your romantic partner about how you shouldn't, "worry honey, because everyone kisses differently." Hell, if you've ever been bi curious, now is your chance to experiment with the most intimate partner ever - yourself. It's practically like masturbation but think about this added bonus - your clone will know all your turn ons and exactly how to please you the right way. Plus, all those dirty things you never were never able to try with anyone else are now just one-wink-to-your-clone away. Nothing is off-limits. But maybe you're thinking, "My clone probably does know my biggest turn on: The opposite sex." Fine, then it may be time to beat the shit out of yourself. Imagine, there will never be a better fight anywhere. Ever. This is because the both of you to are equally matched. You know each others weakness and strengths. You have the same endurance, speed, and power. You'll be fighting like goddamn ninjas as you'll easily predict and block each others moves. Don't worry about the cops or any hurt feelings, this is just me fighting with myself to determine who is the one[b]. Plus, you can punch yourself for all the dumbshit you've done that nobody ever knew about but knew you deserved to get roundhouse kicked for. [b]But you wont feel it cause you did it to your clone. [size=10]People Die when they're killed!? Are you fucking shitting me!? [/h] So here is your chance to literally kick yourself for not asking out that person to prom. You can literally kill yourself for the stupid shit you did. At least it is better thank porking yourself right? Or is it? The truth may very well be that your an absolute psychopath, and once the clone version of you realizes he only has one hour to live he may just rip out your goddamn eyeballs and stuff them into your ear holes due to the adrenaline and desperation of their situation. You're going to die anyways so you might as well take down the asshole who got you into this situation in the first place. So you might have a great time sparring... ...or maybe you just got in way over your head. Or maybe, you should of just fucked yourself. It would of been so much easier[/i] [size=10]Pictured: Not how you planned things turning out[/h] [size=14][b]So what's the answer? [/h] That is for you to decide. I noticed that this argument tends to result in a lot of girls saying they'd get it on with themselves (which is hot) while guys can't get over the fact they are dealing with the same sex and thus resort to violence (not as hot but still kinda hot). Then again, if you don't find yourself attractive enough to bump uglies with, why would anyone else? Should you do it just for the sake of confirming that someone somewhere wants your body even if it is only a clone of yourself? If you like, check out the full article at Cracked.com. Then immediately come back here and tell me why you'd totally make-love-to/beat-the-shit-out yourself.

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What do you shout?

maxriot45

14 years ago

i would kick the shit out of mtself. we would be like RAWR!!! *lots of fighing noise blood spillage*
but one question if you fight to the death and your clone kills you what would happen? would he/she absorb your energy like in the one and you live in his/hers concousness? or would you watch yourself live out your life in the spirit world?

neko-chan

14 years ago

maxriot45 wrote...

No you die and then they die an hour later like was prescribed. The robots clean the room like little robots off of Wall-E then blow up the compound. Your next step is whatever you'd like to insert for life-after-death-concept.

Presumably this means you are playing dodge ball with Steve Irwin and Teddy Roosevelt in heaven.

Sushimi

14 years ago

I'd totally tango my clone and it's gonna be AWESOME. :> ❤

Callonia

14 years ago

Hmm well.. I'd definitely start fapping each other off.

Space Cowboy

14 years ago

thumb wars. Holy fuck, tl;dr

Obviously, fuck myself. I'd even ask the powers that be for the opportunity to keep my clone.

Koko7

14 years ago

Hehe...hehe...hehehehe.. -laughs creepily- :L Fight. Yeah...fight. Actually it'd be like "FINALLY!" Someone who completely understands me~xD

Reaper_69

14 years ago

This reminds me of:

guy:Hey you should clone yourself !
other guy: Why ?
guy:So you can go fuck yourself

But seriously...a fight to the death with a clone of me..either way..the same person wins...awesome

GoodDay

14 years ago

If the clone feels exactly the same things you are, then that means you will have double the orgasmic experience when you fuck amirite?

PumpJack McGee

14 years ago

neko-chan wrote...

Your next step is whatever you'd like to insert for life-after-death-concept.

Presumably this means you are playing dodge ball with Steve Irwin and Teddy Roosevelt in heaven.

Best concept of life-after-death since the beginning of the concept of life-after-death.

Although I would expand the teams and make it a tourney. Chris Farley, Gene Kelly, Abe Lincoln, Bruce Lee, and Joseph Stalin are musts.

neko-chan

14 years ago

PumpJack McGee wrote...

neko-chan wrote...

Your next step is whatever you'd like to insert for life-after-death-concept.

Presumably this means you are playing dodge ball with Steve Irwin and Teddy Roosevelt in heaven.

Abe Lincoln would would kick so much ass at dodge ball.

JFK wouldn't play cause everyone would throw the ball at his head and shout "Headshot!" [size=6]Yeah thats right... I total ripped off CAD [/h]

Daath

14 years ago

neko-chan wrote...

Daath wrote...

If I have a fight to the death with my clone and he wins, does he take over my life?

No, you're dead and when the hour is up the clone disappears. The robots open the door and are like, "WTF HAPPENED!?! OMG WERE ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" Then they explode and nobody solves the reason you disappeared.

Well that sounds just as bad as sex with myself so neither?

The Jinx

14 years ago

wouldn't really be fighting per say more like sparring. But I would fight myself.

Nervarine

14 years ago

I think...fuck

toakopaka

14 years ago

i would say fight, sounds more fun

pros: .i usually have a cane with me so i would assume he would have one too
(by the way does the clone show up wearing cloths?)

.self hatred and stress relived

cons: .fragile bones

.i don't like seeing other peoples blood(well from the moment he shows
up, he has different memories and experiences so therefore different person)

worth it....sounds like it! well if he wants to anyway

fight!! fight!! fight!! fight!!

Deftera Mirage

14 years ago

FIGHT! I wanna see how long I can go fighting myself.

kenjiharima

14 years ago

MK!!!

Will ask the clone if he's really as strong as me and test our strength in a arm wrestling fight. If it's equal then we'll duke it out in an all out fight.

but if it's a MOE genderbend of my self. Then it's time to masturbate.

Spoiler:

Ninja4Hire

14 years ago

1. If it is an exact copy of myself, we will kill each other. Neither one will win, we'll both die. I would like to say I'd win, but I would do whatever it takes to kill my replica. This would of course lead to a series of fucked up events and possibly and possibly two explosions.

2. If its a copy of myself, but a female version. Then I will will screw the hell out myself... That sounds more messed up looking at it than it sounded in my head...

This, however, begs the following questions. If I kill myself, is it suicide or homicide? And, if I have sex with myself is it masturbation, raep, or X-TREME (Add in the voice of Randy Savage for best effect) narcissism?

MentallyUnstable

14 years ago

Truly a question that requires alot of thought.

Why would I want to fuck an ugly piece of shit full of shit?

What would the point be in fighting someone who would get tired in a milisecond?

The only sensible way to fight/get off would be to have a dick sword fight.

phantomtech

14 years ago

Me?
well i would fuck myself only because if we were thinking the exact same thing then why would either of us want to fight, i mean we`d be making the same moves throwing the same punches so why not have fun.

oracle knight raze

14 years ago

neko-chan wrote...

[quote="Daath"]If I have a fight to the death with my clone and he wins, does he take over my life?

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