Kadushy Posts
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Yanker wrote...
Ah, thanks Xenon for pointing out those mistakes. I thought I'd proof-read it a fair bit, but it seems I still missed a lot of things.I will take in your opinion regarding caps, but I still feel like they could be used to good effect in especially intense moments. They probably weren't necessary for the 'Bend over' part though.
You're welcome. Even with the errors I found, the quality of your entry for this contest is still fairly high, and congratulations for that.
Regarding all-caps, the issue is that people, especially online, are using all-capitals to signify sound volume when that wasn't their initial purpose. Different languages use capitals for different purposes, but proper English (as you may well already know) uses capitals to begin sentences, proper nouns, and in the case of acronyms and headers in formats like newspaper headings, comics, tombstones, and monument plaques for their ease of reading from further away.
Rather, the illusion that all-capitals represents louder speech volume is a trick of the mind trying to rationalize how capital letters take up more space than lower case letters. When something takes up more space, it demands more attention, and things that demand attention are often loud and attention-grabbing.
That is not to say professional writers don't use all-caps in dialogue. This was actually common when writers were using typewriters. Often it comes down to an individual's perception as to their purpose, but that is their own choice. My role as a judge, at least in my opinion, is merely to analyze the level of your writing according to the rules of proper English decorum. Using all-caps to signify yelling could very well become more acceptable in the future, often that is the evolution of language at work. It's a very interesting topic to me, but I'll put it to rest. If you want to use them in the future, that is your freedom to do so.
I'm glad that I could provide you with some insight about my critique of your piece and I hope that you don't shy away from sharing other material here in the future.
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Initially this story was a bit of an abstract work, but it progressed a bit to develop a hectic and chaotic plot very sexual in nature indeed. As the main character’s name was Leo, I could not help but imagine our very own leonard experiencing the predicaments within the story. On the plus side, I imagine it was abstract and dramatic enough in its various plot twists to especially entertain him.
Myself, I thought this story was incredibly epic and well-written. The chaos doesn’t appeal to everyone, obviously because much of it seems random, but this surprisingly became more coherent as it went on, and the development of the conflict was epic and comedic at the same time. It was quite enjoyable and had me snickering more than on occasion.
Below are the major things I found issues with.
Bit of a run-on. Might want to turn this into two sentences.
Man-rod should be hyphenated.
I highly doubt you meant “galleons,” probably “gallons” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galleon
Towards is an unnecessary inclusion.
The use of "down" is repetitive. Awkward although acceptable, it could be worded better.
All-capitals are never suitable for proper writing unless it’s quoting a message written in all-capitals. An exclamation mark is sufficient enough to convey yelling. You do this a few more times in the piece, and my opinion there is the same.
Comma after "Yes."
Since it's revealed that he's an elf, you should use the word "elf" to describe him instead of "man."
Myself, I thought this story was incredibly epic and well-written. The chaos doesn’t appeal to everyone, obviously because much of it seems random, but this surprisingly became more coherent as it went on, and the development of the conflict was epic and comedic at the same time. It was quite enjoyable and had me snickering more than on occasion.
Below are the major things I found issues with.
Yanker wrote...
Legend says that by carrying out a ritual by your fireplace, an omnipotent wish-granting entity can be summoned who will give you one present depending on whether you have been †˜naughty’ or †˜nice’ throughout the year.Bit of a run-on. Might want to turn this into two sentences.
Yanker wrote...
If he really put his mind to it, he could imagine thrusting his manrod into the alluring cracks on the ground.Man-rod should be hyphenated.
Yanker wrote...
Galleons of white, frothy goodness exploded from his one-eyed snake, filling the glass up to the very rim.I highly doubt you meant “galleons,” probably “gallons” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galleon
Yanker wrote...
He waited with (mastur)bated breath as the sounds travelled down towards the fireplace.Towards is an unnecessary inclusion.
Yanker wrote...
He bent down and chugged down the glass of †˜milk’, letting out a burp.The use of "down" is repetitive. Awkward although acceptable, it could be worded better.
Yanker wrote...
Now BEND OVER!All-capitals are never suitable for proper writing unless it’s quoting a message written in all-capitals. An exclamation mark is sufficient enough to convey yelling. You do this a few more times in the piece, and my opinion there is the same.
Yanker wrote...
“YES THAT’S THE SPOT!”Comma after "Yes."
Yanker wrote...
She caught Leo’s hungry eyes as she stopped before the man, bending down to close his eyes.Since it's revealed that he's an elf, you should use the word "elf" to describe him instead of "man."
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
It’s kind of an amazing sight, the quality of your entries have drastically improved over the years. Your sentence structure, in particular, is quite impressive. Additionally, your use of vocabulary is improving to such a degree that it really is astonishing. There was a great sense of dramatic closure to this tragic tale, a lesson conveyed through death and a message bequeathed towards the reader with wisdom, the assurance of the importance of family, closeness, independence, and assertiveness in the ability to follow ones dreams and path. It does this well and properly conveys the message through emotion, in sadness, anger, frustration, melancholy, and depression. This entry is a gem, and one within your portfolio that will age well. Congratulations.
Here is some much needed criticism, however, that you can use to improve: This story suffers from the occasional comma splice (although you use em dashes) so it’s worth watching out for them. A comma splice is using a comma to separate two complete clauses when a period would suffice. If you still want to connect the two complete sentences because they are related to one another, then you don’t use a comma or an em dash, but a semicolon. In addition to that, on the topic of punctuation, the spaces after ellipses before punctuation you included are unnecessary, the ones in particular before final punctuation marks, and sometimes after beginning quotation marks. Also, watch out with ellipses. I find that they’re acceptable within dialogue to signify long pauses, but they are looked down on in proper writing. My rule of thumb is to question if what you’re doing with them adds anything to the sentence at all. Does it help me further understand the meaning of the sentence or the emotion provided by the pause? In some places, the answer is no and you should not use them because of this. Lastly, you use the past tense of “want,” (that being “wanted”) but unfortunately because of the structure of the sentence already addressing the past tense with “did,” and the exceptions that English uses (very confusingly), the correct form in the instances that you used them is simply “want.”
Below are the major things I found issues with:
"I smiled feeling triumphant. She got her just desserts."
Golden-blonde, color mixes are often hyphenated, or separated by a comma if used with excessive adjectives. Speaking of excessive adjectives separated by a comma, one should be after "fine."
…A poor performance of self-control; I could instantly rate myself the worst score for a lack of effort had I carried a mirror to peek at.
These ellipses are purposeless. They don't add much of anything in narration.
“ …I suppose it did.”
Growing, huh… ?
“ …Really? Really? That’s it?”
“But the whole reason you just explained… ”
“I just wanted to regale, really. Regarding the †˜sun,’ for instance, the experiences of viewing my performances… ”
“ …What is there to say? That I’ve always looked up to you? That I’ve aspired to be an actress like you? That I’ve lost my way?!”
“ …Which one is it?”
“ …Will you spend more time with me if I do as you say?”
Why are you spacing out the quotation and the ellipsis? There should be no space, not unless you were creating a space after each dot, which would be acceptable. To make matters worse, you sometimes place the question and exclamation marks after the space. With the way you're doing the ellipses, there just shouldn't be any spaces.
“Didn’t you wanted to be the †˜sun’ though? Wouldn’t you want people to aspire to be like you?”
In both cases, "want" is the proper form.
Most people with a career like her’s would use “professionalism” as a shield for safety.
"Hers" is the appropriate possessive. "Her's" is never correct.
Very is unnecessary.
Advise is British English. Advice is American English.
Not an error, but this buzz word. The youth aren’t the only capricious ones, are they?
Did she just... give her consent?
What'd you want me to do?
Since they're both complete sentences, a semicolon should be used to separate "It's your life; it's your path." Also, "they seek you from you" sounds a bit awkward, I might suggest "they seek you for you". It's not too terribly bad though.
"Someone...breathing." This is a sentence fragment, just put a comma before it instead of a period.
Here is some much needed criticism, however, that you can use to improve: This story suffers from the occasional comma splice (although you use em dashes) so it’s worth watching out for them. A comma splice is using a comma to separate two complete clauses when a period would suffice. If you still want to connect the two complete sentences because they are related to one another, then you don’t use a comma or an em dash, but a semicolon. In addition to that, on the topic of punctuation, the spaces after ellipses before punctuation you included are unnecessary, the ones in particular before final punctuation marks, and sometimes after beginning quotation marks. Also, watch out with ellipses. I find that they’re acceptable within dialogue to signify long pauses, but they are looked down on in proper writing. My rule of thumb is to question if what you’re doing with them adds anything to the sentence at all. Does it help me further understand the meaning of the sentence or the emotion provided by the pause? In some places, the answer is no and you should not use them because of this. Lastly, you use the past tense of “want,” (that being “wanted”) but unfortunately because of the structure of the sentence already addressing the past tense with “did,” and the exceptions that English uses (very confusingly), the correct form in the instances that you used them is simply “want.”
Below are the major things I found issues with:
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
I smiled—feeling triumphant— she got her just desserts."I smiled feeling triumphant. She got her just desserts."
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
What my vision found prominent was her pristine, fine statue-like figure—her beautiful, pellucid wonder of a face—and her wavy golden blonde hair that could reach down to her hips, regally crowning her top.Golden-blonde, color mixes are often hyphenated, or separated by a comma if used with excessive adjectives. Speaking of excessive adjectives separated by a comma, one should be after "fine."
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
I looked down to her generously endowed bosom—and her perfect proportions—with disdain. Would I grow up to be just as blessed… ? …A poor performance of self-control; I could instantly rate myself the worst score for a lack of effort had I carried a mirror to peek at.
These ellipses are purposeless. They don't add much of anything in narration.
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
“Huh… ?!”“ …I suppose it did.”
Growing, huh… ?
“ …Really? Really? That’s it?”
“But the whole reason you just explained… ”
“I just wanted to regale, really. Regarding the †˜sun,’ for instance, the experiences of viewing my performances… ”
“ …What is there to say? That I’ve always looked up to you? That I’ve aspired to be an actress like you? That I’ve lost my way?!”
“ …Which one is it?”
“ …Will you spend more time with me if I do as you say?”
Why are you spacing out the quotation and the ellipsis? There should be no space, not unless you were creating a space after each dot, which would be acceptable. To make matters worse, you sometimes place the question and exclamation marks after the space. With the way you're doing the ellipses, there just shouldn't be any spaces.
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
“So, what did you wanted to talk about?”“Didn’t you wanted to be the †˜sun’ though? Wouldn’t you want people to aspire to be like you?”
In both cases, "want" is the proper form.
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
This famous quality of her’s had won the hearts of many.Most people with a career like her’s would use “professionalism” as a shield for safety.
"Hers" is the appropriate possessive. "Her's" is never correct.
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
Perchance she founded an excuse to relish her very professionalism?Very is unnecessary.
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
I took a deep breath, which—incidentally—was an advise I read in one of Mrs. Hailey’s interviews.Advise is British English. Advice is American English.
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
I’d vehemently point out her capriciousness , but not now.Not an error, but this buzz word. The youth aren’t the only capricious ones, are they?
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
Her lips stretched wide to smile, before wiping my tears and planting a kiss on my forehead. Did she just… gave her consent?Did she just... give her consent?
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
“What’d want me to do?”What'd you want me to do?
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
“Spread your wings, my dear Lucy. It’s your life—it’s your path. In this industry—they seek you from you, not me. You’ll find your answer eventually.”Since they're both complete sentences, a semicolon should be used to separate "It's your life; it's your path." Also, "they seek you from you" sounds a bit awkward, I might suggest "they seek you for you". It's not too terribly bad though.
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
Forever shall I refer to her as a stout woman unbound by logic and rationality. Someone who performed as if merely breathing."Someone...breathing." This is a sentence fragment, just put a comma before it instead of a period.
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
An interesting tale of cannibalization and the personification of these small mammals is very typical of your previous works. It’s hard to read a story from you and not expect the characters to just be symbols, but I wouldn’t necessarily call that a bad thing. The repetition in this story is acceptable to further signify the importance of the feelings and emotions going through Judas as he continues to witness the things that haunt him, which is very common for moments of trauma. However, if you remove the repetition, then you can see that you only used half the space you needed for the content, which is an amazing feat. However, I feel like some parts could have used more explanation. For instance, when Judas returns to his mother in the climactic scene, he asks her why she’s doing it again, but it’s not certain if she’s doing it again by cannibalizing another sibling, or doing it again by still continuing to consume the corpse of John. Although that’s not detrimental knowledge, it does further expose whether it’s a repeat offense or the continued apathetic sin of the previous, and I think that one of those makes her into a bigger sinner than the other.
On a positive note, the status of your story is something I’m proud to expect from you, something lacking in errors both in syntax and grammar. There were some areas I had to be certain about, such as capitalizing Mother and wondering if “The less we are in the family, the more food there will be for each of us, and to keep you all alive, I had to get rid of the weakest link.” could have been better arranged, or possibly spliced. Also, in my opinion, you should eliminate your use of the word “then” to describe the proceeding motions and descriptions of characters, since the word actually provides very little when the continued sentence already applies the knowledge that the motions occur subsequently. I’m referencing your sentences “I then proceeded to the dining area.” And “She then put up a face of anguish.” It’s just a fluff word and serves little purpose in those instances.
Well done on this entry overall.
Below are the major things I found issues with, in addition to the previous "then" sentences.
This implies that he’s eating himself. I suggest a better subject identifier. Even later it’s discovered it’s a she doing the eating, it doesn’t help the initial mental image created by this lone sentence.
This could be worded more appropriately, such as “The less of us there are in the family,…” “The less we are in the family” implies something like genetic distance, or some odd physical phenomena.
On a positive note, the status of your story is something I’m proud to expect from you, something lacking in errors both in syntax and grammar. There were some areas I had to be certain about, such as capitalizing Mother and wondering if “The less we are in the family, the more food there will be for each of us, and to keep you all alive, I had to get rid of the weakest link.” could have been better arranged, or possibly spliced. Also, in my opinion, you should eliminate your use of the word “then” to describe the proceeding motions and descriptions of characters, since the word actually provides very little when the continued sentence already applies the knowledge that the motions occur subsequently. I’m referencing your sentences “I then proceeded to the dining area.” And “She then put up a face of anguish.” It’s just a fluff word and serves little purpose in those instances.
Well done on this entry overall.
Below are the major things I found issues with, in addition to the previous "then" sentences.
RavenxSinon wrote...
The scrawny killer slowly gnawed at his flesh, tearing and devouring the tendons and ligaments of his body.This implies that he’s eating himself. I suggest a better subject identifier. Even later it’s discovered it’s a she doing the eating, it doesn’t help the initial mental image created by this lone sentence.
RavenxSinon wrote...
The less we are in the family,This could be worded more appropriately, such as “The less of us there are in the family,…” “The less we are in the family” implies something like genetic distance, or some odd physical phenomena.
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
I enjoyed this tidbit of a world fantastical and medieval in nature. It reminded me both of the worlds of Strike! and also from where Innocent and Jason come from. I was also pleased to see that it was absent of most typical errors, however I did have a handful of notes to mark. Do pay attention to them so you can improve.
If I had critique, it would be that this story wasn’t very funny. Obviously it wasn’t trying to be overly much, though there were some funny bits, the overall dark theme of Isaac’s true nature overshadowed it. Then again, that could be the point of trying to find humor in a dark and dangerous world. When I think about it that way, it seems much more appealing. Also, Eadweard might have just been shoved in to satisfy the theme guideline, but I did like him as a character regardless.
I know you had a previous version of this, but I didn’t read or care about it in the context of the competition. If you would like to repost it, I would like to read it now that it’s over though.
Below are the major things I found issues with.
Why you little . . . Isaac let it go and sat beside Anna, crossing his legs. Heat radiated from the flames, chasing the chill out of his bones.
"This is Isaac," Anna said.
"Evening, sir," Isaac said.
"Actually, it's morning," Eadweard said.
A bit repetitive with the “saids.” I don't mind said, but it starts getting too repetitive after so many times.
This comes as a surprise to her? Did she forget to talk about it immediately? Seems like the kind of thing you would say first before anything else.
His eyes.
Maybe "before himself" might be more appropriate. Maybe you meant "before her?" Hard to tell, though it's grammatically acceptable.
Isaac it is, then. "Then" being a follow-through like a supposition. Without a comma, it's being used like time.
Noticed.
If I had critique, it would be that this story wasn’t very funny. Obviously it wasn’t trying to be overly much, though there were some funny bits, the overall dark theme of Isaac’s true nature overshadowed it. Then again, that could be the point of trying to find humor in a dark and dangerous world. When I think about it that way, it seems much more appealing. Also, Eadweard might have just been shoved in to satisfy the theme guideline, but I did like him as a character regardless.
I know you had a previous version of this, but I didn’t read or care about it in the context of the competition. If you would like to repost it, I would like to read it now that it’s over though.
Below are the major things I found issues with.
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
"I see that," Eadweard said.Why you little . . . Isaac let it go and sat beside Anna, crossing his legs. Heat radiated from the flames, chasing the chill out of his bones.
"This is Isaac," Anna said.
"Evening, sir," Isaac said.
"Actually, it's morning," Eadweard said.
A bit repetitive with the “saids.” I don't mind said, but it starts getting too repetitive after so many times.
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
Anna broke her gaze from the pit of the fire. "Oh! Isaac's in a bit of a bind. Can he travel with us for a while?"This comes as a surprise to her? Did she forget to talk about it immediately? Seems like the kind of thing you would say first before anything else.
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
He opened eyes.His eyes.
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
"Excuse me, but who are you?" he asked. The girl’s expression was blank. He looked down at his water-trodden clothes to find scratched chainmail splattered with mud. He waved his arms before him. "I don’t mean any harm! I just . . ."Maybe "before himself" might be more appropriate. Maybe you meant "before her?" Hard to tell, though it's grammatically acceptable.
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
Anna laughed. "I guess he likes it too. Isaac it is then."Isaac it is, then. "Then" being a follow-through like a supposition. Without a comma, it's being used like time.
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
"There's a war going on around us in case you haven't notice."Noticed.
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
An amusing read, considering I have been following the story of this pair and your obsession with tragedy involving them. Happy to see they didn’t die, but only because it’s supposed to exist within a universe addressing the fourth wall. It makes me wonder about who these people are in real life, if they even exist at all, because let’s be honest, you invent such drastic properties to their story, they probably have different names or something like that.
Anyway, although it may be a bit basic to write a contest entry about writing about a contest entry, I did find the atmosphere in this entry to be quite endearing.
Critically, however, you have comma problems, and problems involving both repetition and punctuation when it comes to ending quotation. You also need to improve your ability to be consistent. You can’t see on my copy because I just copied the font, but on the forum, you italicized Free! the first time, but not the second. Try to remain consistent.
Other than that, I’m glad you entered this year, and more importantly glad that you didn’t kill off this cute couple.
In before “they died anyway seventy years later from old age!”
Below are the major things I found issues with, but I have more on my .docx file. If you would like it, feel free to PM me and I'll email it to you.
This paragraph has little reason to be separate from the previous one. She’s even still the one talking.
You already said “anyways” at the beginning of the sentence. Only use one to decrease repetition.
He just said “just.” Again, best to avoid repetition.
Repeated “was” after "nothing."
The series name should be italicized like you did previously. (Unless you meant maybe it's free, which I feel like a lot of people were doing on Fakku earlier.)
"well, it looks like we don't have to worry.
Anyway, although it may be a bit basic to write a contest entry about writing about a contest entry, I did find the atmosphere in this entry to be quite endearing.
Critically, however, you have comma problems, and problems involving both repetition and punctuation when it comes to ending quotation. You also need to improve your ability to be consistent. You can’t see on my copy because I just copied the font, but on the forum, you italicized Free! the first time, but not the second. Try to remain consistent.
Other than that, I’m glad you entered this year, and more importantly glad that you didn’t kill off this cute couple.
In before “they died anyway seventy years later from old age!”
Below are the major things I found issues with, but I have more on my .docx file. If you would like it, feel free to PM me and I'll email it to you.
xninebreaker wrote...
“But last night, I saw you open the laptop and,” She paused for a moment and the tension was palpable. “I saw you reading… Free.”This paragraph has little reason to be separate from the previous one. She’s even still the one talking.
xninebreaker wrote...
“Anyways, what were you doing here anyways? Find something nice?” She said nonchalantly while browsing the frontpage.You already said “anyways” at the beginning of the sentence. Only use one to decrease repetition.
xninebreaker wrote...
“Well I think it’s more like the place is beaten up from war. I just think it’s just sad because I die in the end looking for your grave.”He just said “just.” Again, best to avoid repetition.
xninebreaker wrote...
Peter mulled over the thought. Peter felt there was nothing was really wrong with that, but the idea was weird to him. The contest was almost over anyways.Repeated “was” after "nothing."
xninebreaker wrote...
Vy and Peter looked quizzically at one another. “New upload?” Vy asked. “Go check, maybe it’s Free.”The series name should be italicized like you did previously. (Unless you meant maybe it's free, which I feel like a lot of people were doing on Fakku earlier.)
xninebreaker wrote...
“Well, it looks we don’t have to worry. Let’s check back later.”"well, it looks like we don't have to worry.
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Poems and Limericks
Poems
Yanker:

I'd love to honor the memory of a man
Conveniently named "Leo," was that a plan?
He made a wish on Christmas Eve
A wish, despite his pleading, would not leave
Leo played a prank on an elf that could not bilk
A "gift" given of cheap cookies and "milk"
To Leo's surprised, he chugged the glass!
It must have given him terrible gas
The elf was a fraud, Santa he was not
The real Santa arrived, honestly quite hot
Every year she'd fulfill his wish, until he was dead
His parents still moaning and screwing in bed
Cinia Pacifica:

An ode to Cinia Pacifica...No wait, I prefer Rise
The rhyme for this hilariously you will despise
Regardless, your writing has improved a great deal
This entry was destined to cause us to feel
A daughter named Lucy, at odds with her mother
The mother named Hailey, difficult to express her
Love, though distant and strained, but pure
They began a relationship too late for sure
May your use of English continue to grow
Your writing's quality is above the average Joe
So continue to get better, and cultivate, and shine
Even if the future is unknown, you will be just fine
Sound of Destiny:

Sound, your entries never cease to amaze me
You craft such endearing stories so fancy
This year's story is about a man
Who shocked them all with his plan
Rowan, a cynic, some might say a thug
Detested his father, his family a bug
In his heart, he felt for this girl
Who no one wanted, though she was a pearl
Although he lacked maturity in some ways
Even he could act responsibly without a faze
Everyone take a lesson from Rowan's case
Family is important enough to embrace
Limerick
RavenxSinon:

This year bringing us the tale of a rat
A troubled one with an evil mother so fat
They'll eat their own
Dripping blood and bone
Even cannibals should set a place mat!
Xenon
FAKKU Writer

This year's annual Winter Writing Contest has reached the end and the winners have been decided by both the judges and community!
Congratulations goes to Yanker for winning the Judge's Choice award with his most favored submission of A White Christmas. It would be difficult to assign a collection of words that would adequately express the quality of this entry, but I shall attempt to do so. Comedy is a difficult genre to tackle, especially to those who normally don't write with humor. After all, there are many kinds of humor, some light, some dark, some dumb, and some intelligent and clever. This entry that you have so wonderfully crafted utilized the concept of random comedy to such a degree that, although unsure what could happen next to make the situation more absurd, the story still came full circle in an epic and complete fashion. In addition to being well-written and well-proofread, it is easy to see just how great it stands on its own. Thank you for causing me to laugh more than a few times, and more than just an easily dismissed chuckle.
We also wanted to honor RavenxSinon as the Runner-up for the unique tale of Mother Knows Best. Your piece was as interesting as last year's. You are, proclaimed by myself and perhaps agreed upon by our community as being this section's resident expert on symbolism. Thank you for your dark tale of revenge, cannibalism, and matricide.
Congratulations also goes to Cinia Pacifica and Sound of Destiny for winning the Reader's Choice awards with your respective submissions The Enigmatic Lady and Like Holding White Elephants as the Writing and Fanfiction community determined them to be the top entries in the final poll. The Enigmatic Lady, a touching tale of the strained and growing relationship between a mother and a daughter, only for that growth to have been cut down as soon as it began. Similar in respects to this, Like Holding White Elephants also approaches the concept of relationships with older family, whether they be strained between a father and son, or creating new relationships like between a man and a half-sister, now adopted-daughter. Dialogue is heavy in these entries, as these relationships show their growth through this literary medium. Together they give us a treat with stories that will be remembered as the partnered victors of the Reader's polls for this year. Thank you for your gifts to us.
Since there was a tie in the poll, and the runner-up to them won the runner-up for the Judge's Choice award regardless, we'll just be ignoring the runner-up to Reader's Choice position this year, as they are technically runner-ups to each other.
With some details about the prizes, the winners of the Judge's Choice and Reader's Choice awards, Yanker, Cinia Pacifica, and Sound of Destiny, will each win $25 of value to the FAKKU store, as a gift certificate to J-List, or similar online retailers within reason. This can include two months of subscription to FAKKU! or a physical FAKKU! publication delivered to you.
The Runner-up RavenxSinon will receive any one (1) current or future digital download of a FAKKU publication, a $10 value towards the FAKKU store. For a list of current and planned releases, check this link to the FAKKU! Store Manga & Doujinshi page. This could also be a full month subscription to FAKKU!
Additionally, Yanker, Cinia Pacifica, and Sound of Destiny have won a 3 stanza poem each dedicated to their honor. RavenxSinon will be regaled with a limerick. You may find these in the next post.
Although, the forum rank title of "FAKKU Writer" was never confirmed for this contest, I will let someone among the higher ups know of the winners just in case it could be granted to them for their most deserving entries. No promises, but I hope they'll grant it.
Lastly, special thanks goes out to all the submissions and authors who participated in this year's contest and I hope it was as rewarding for you as it was for us, on behalf of the judges: leonard267, high_time, and myself. Thank you, it was an honor to arrange and judge this contest for you all. I will now provide my specific corrections and comments on entries to those of you who desire it. Please post here or message me if you would like and I will post it publicly, or privately if you wish.
Honorable mentions for this year:
xninebreaker submitted I’ll Never Give Up
Thank you, xninebreaker, for granting us this sweet, endearing, fourth-wall-breaking entry. They live! They finally live!
Masayoshi submitted Priorities.
Thank you for your unique tale of the suffering of an individual, and the unfortunate ire directed at him by people and life in general, I suppose.
Lastly, thank you again to everyone who participated and read, and may next year hold even greater things for us all.
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
This is a pretty satisfactory summary of the majority of lives lived today in a modern world. Although you claim it is anticlimactic, it actually did a decent job at creating the climax through the hypothetical narration of what was likely to occur.
I rather enjoyed the poetry both in the beginning and in the middle. You're becoming quite the poet, leonard267!
Alas, for some critique, I think you forgot a word here:
I rather enjoyed the poetry both in the beginning and in the middle. You're becoming quite the poet, leonard267!
Alas, for some critique, I think you forgot a word here:
leonard267 wrote...
Other challenges he had struggled to overcome included struggling to hoodwink a woman into a matrimonial union with him then struggle to take care of her and their offspring in what was surely the worst of struggles, or so he thought.
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Wow, for the first time ever in the contest, it appears we have a tie in the final polls! Well, I guess that just means you'll both have to win!
Congratulations goes to Cinia Pacifica for his entry The Enigmatic Lady and to Sound of Destiny for her entry Like Holding White Elephants! The results show it so closely that you two are the winners of the Reader's Choice awards. The community clearly has shown a close balance of favorites in this group, but it appears that you two received even votes! The fact that they raised your entries up so evenly as their favorites is no small matter. It shows both of your skill and talent in the area of your respective literary expertise. Well done to the both of you!
Since there are two winners, I'm making an administrative call to eliminate the Runner-up position this year since it's clear they're runner-ups of each other.
Stand by for a winners thread to come in a few days when we will also reveal the winner of the Judge's Choice award.
Congratulations goes to Cinia Pacifica for his entry The Enigmatic Lady and to Sound of Destiny for her entry Like Holding White Elephants! The results show it so closely that you two are the winners of the Reader's Choice awards. The community clearly has shown a close balance of favorites in this group, but it appears that you two received even votes! The fact that they raised your entries up so evenly as their favorites is no small matter. It shows both of your skill and talent in the area of your respective literary expertise. Well done to the both of you!
Since there are two winners, I'm making an administrative call to eliminate the Runner-up position this year since it's clear they're runner-ups of each other.
Stand by for a winners thread to come in a few days when we will also reveal the winner of the Judge's Choice award.
Xenon
FAKKU Writer

All the top finalists have been voted on and so the last step in deciding Fakku's Reader's Choice and Runner-up awards remains. Please vote for the author who you see fit winning such a prestigious award for their work.
The Reader's Choice and Runner-up winners will be obvious when the poll ends in three days. The winners of the Judge's Choice and Runner-up award will be announced a couple days at most after the end of this poll.
If you didn't already for these bracket winners: When you read each submission, please take a moment to stop when you finish and write the author a little note how and if you liked it or some constructive criticism they could benefit from. I know that if you are an author, you may want the same done for you. Happy reading and may the most astounding piece of literature be the victor. As a judge, I will withhold my comments until after the contest is over to those who request it.
Entries in this poll:
Sound of Destiny submitted Like Holding White Elephants
Cinia Pacifica submitted The Enigmatic Lady
RavenxSinon submitted Mother Knows Best
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
This poll has ended. As we can see with the results, RavenxSinon is our winner of the second preliminary poll and will go on to the finals poll. Congratulations!
Xenon
FAKKU Writer

Third poll, good luck with voting.
When you read each submission, if you have not already, please take a moment to stop when you finish and write the author a little note how and if you liked it or some constructive criticism they could benefit from. I know that if you are an author, you may want the same done for you. As a judge, I will withhold my comments until after the contest is over to those who request it.
Happy reading, everyone.
Entries in this poll:
d(^_^)(^_^)d submitted To Become a Memory
Dawn_of_Dark submitted The Verdict and The Chase
RavenxSinon submitted Mother Knows Best
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
This poll has ended. As we can see with the results, Cinia Pacifica is our winner of the second preliminary poll and will go on to the finals poll. Congratulations!
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
This poll has ended. As we can see with the results, Sound of Destiny is our winner of the first preliminary poll and will go on to the finals poll. Congratulations!
Xenon
FAKKU Writer

The second poll is here!
Again, the winner of each poll will go on to the fourth and final poll. The top two of the final poll will receive the benefit of winning the Reader's Choice and Runner-up awards. These groups were randomized on random.org.
Reposted from the first poll: When you read each submission, if you have not already, please take a moment to stop when you finish and write the author a little note how and if you liked it or some constructive criticism they could benefit from. I know that if you are an author, you may want the same done for you. As a judge, I will withhold my comments until after the contest is over to those who request it.
Entries in this poll:
xninebreaker submitted I’ll Never Give Up
Cinia Pacifica submitted The Enigmatic Lady
Masayoshi submitted Priorities.