The Jesus Posts

How about I call you Easter and after you shove it up your ass, we'll see how soon it cums.

I haven't been on for a while, but looking at the most recent threads, I feel as if I've been kicked in the nuts by a professional soccer player. When I left, FAKKU was doing as well as a caged gerbil on a sinking ship, but I have to ask... "What happened to my FAKKU?"

You have a strong desire to be sucked, in some way, by a woman.

Let's see how you handle this...

I use my cock.

I haven't been to a McDonald's for a while, but the last time I was there they were selling at least 5 kinds of salads. I get that employees get free meals while they're working, but nobody works at a McDonald's 24/7. If you work at a McDonald's and you don't know what a fucking treadmill is, you have no right to sue them because you need a chainsaw to get through a doorway.

When I was in high school, my friend was telling me how he would leave bowls of candy on the his front porch and if anyone got too greedy, he'd shoot them with frozen potatoes.

Personally, I think people should be legally permitted to protect their property by any means on mischief night and Halloween.

I have a sword and if anyone tries to fuck my shit up, I should be able to cut them without getting locked up.

Most of my fantasies are disturbing, even to myself. Regardless of what I fantasize about, whether it is love or peace, modern society collapses.

I'm not Jesus, I'm The Jesus. It is painfully obvious that an insignificant creature such as yourself cannot comprehend my greatness. However, I'm in a generous mood, so I'll grant you the privilege of honoring my balls.

Fist of the North Star might be a stereotypical macho anime, but whether you like it or not, its a classic.


I guess if you're caught up on his popularity in wrestling, you might think he's a douche, but he's actually a very respectable person.



You make a valid point. He would get bonus points if, while playing the game, he got emotionally invested in it.

I'm a fap ninja. You could be in the same room and be none the wiser.

That's why you need to be ready to break someone's shit without feeling guilt. If someone attacks you, regardless of their motive, you have the right to defend yourself.



Actually, it's better to go for the eyes. It doesn't take a whole lot of force to rupture one and, unlike a throat injury, it's not something that can heal.



You don't even need a knife, all you need is the will to survive. It might sound stupid, but if someone grabs you and you bite off a chunk of flesh, people are gonna think twice about fucking with you.



That's even better. It would be awesome to break a bottle over a person's head, but in a serious situation, fracturing their skull would be more satisfying.

Whoever made that bullshit forgot that when you're on acid, you're supposed to listen to music, not try to make it.



It's far beyond weird. The Beatles are the shit, but Yellow Submarine is one of those songs that'll give you cancer if you listen to it too much.

Insufflation destroys the nasal septum.

No one broke my "fapping cherry." In all honesty, my first fap was a result of random curiosity. I never did it before, so I wanted to find out, for myself, why it was such a big deal.

A couple years back when I was doing more drugs than anyone could imagine, I'd get migraines from time to time. For the most part, I would just get high until I couldn't feel shit, but on special occasions, my solution for migraines was Ketamine.

I haven't had many migraines since I chilled with the drugs, but when I do I pop some Excedrin. If that doesn't work, I just go to sleep or deal with it until it goes away.

The only time winning matters is when you're gambling.

To make a long story short... I come from the land of the ice and snow.

As far as stereotypes go, I know that the ones about vodka, most of the men being hairy, and the women being hot are pretty accurate. I hope to god that some of the stereotypes involving bears are true, because I'm part Russian and bears are epic.

First off, for those who say it's more practical, I have to disagree. WW is in the business of fighting crime and that requires her to be able to move freely. Logically speaking, her old outfit was practical because it did very little to restrict her movements.

Personally I'm in favor of the new look. I don't mind the old costume, but I think its simplicity has a negative impact on the overall hotness.