The Jesus Posts

Please tell me there's more to your argument than that.

Moar Hunter S. Thompson, because... MOAR!!!

"That was always the difference between Muhammad Ali and the rest of us. He came, he saw, and if he didn't entirely conquer - he came as close as anybody we are likely to see in the lifetime of this doomed generation."

"It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top."

"My concept of death for a long time was to come down that mountain road at 120 and just keep going straight right there, burst out through the barrier and hang out above all that . . . and there I'd be, sitting in the front seat, stark naked, with a case of whiskey next to me and a case of dynamite in the trunk . . . honking the horn, and the lights on, and just sit there in space for an instant, a human bomb, and fall down into that mess of steel mills. It'd be a tremendous goddam explosion. No pain. No one would get hurt. I'm pretty sure, unless they've changed the highway, that launching place is still there. As soon as I get home, I ought to take the drive just to check it out."

"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upwardly mobile—and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. We owe that to ourselves and our crippled self-image as something better than a nation of panicked sheep."

"There are times, however, and this is one of them, when even being right feels wrong. What do you say, for instance, about a generation that has been taught that rain is poison and sex is death? If making love might be fatal and if a cool spring breeze on any summer afternoon can turn a crystal blue lake into a puddle of black poison right in front of your eyes, there is not much left except TV and relentless masturbation. It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die."

“Publishers are notoriously slothful about numbers, unless they're attached to dollar signs -- unlike journalists, quarterbacks, and felony criminal defendants who tend to be keenly aware of numbers at all times.”

I don't know if we're talking about the same place, but somewhere in the US its illegal to have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at anytime.


I think it might be connected to fishing restrictions because alcohol, if it doesn't kill them, has a paralytic effect on fish.


In New Jersey, if you've been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you can't apply for personalized license plates.

In Israel, it is considered an offense to operate a mobile spay/neuter clinic – it is considered peddling. Its also forbidden to bring bears to the beach.

Wtf... its easy as fuck unless you don't know the fucking alphabet. You just name a band that starts with the letter that comes after the one that was previously posted.

I was gonna wait to get involved, but I guess I'll join in.

Black Randy and the Metrosquad - Black Randy(Jon Morris)

The next poster names a band that starts with a C.


It makes the game less challenging if any word from the band name can be used. It should only be the first word. Unless the first is "A" or "The," then it should be the second.

I look at the keyboard sometimes, but I couldn't tell you if I actually pay attention to what the fuck I'm looking at. I don't do that school taught bullshit. I type the way I do and that's that. Wpm and shit like that isn't important if you can get shit done.

Trolls are the assholes that completely devote themselves to the art of being a douchebag.

10 fucking years I've been trying to find one of those. I suppose Jacob isn't the lord of win for nothing. Where the fuck can I get one, I can't find them anywhere?

Please excuse my blatant overreaction, but...

A lot of guys want to fuck Brazilian chicks?

If I hadn't accidentally +repped someone already, I would +rep you for your incomparable genius.



If Microsoft wants to give some kids that are sick and/or dying the chance to take their minds off being sick and/or dying, who are we to say there's something wrong with it? Even though they have enough money to make donations toward something more beneficial to the patients of all the hospitals, at least they're doing something. Charity is voluntary. They could, just as easily, build some kind of clubhouse out of cash and expensive bullshit where they engage in unspeakable acts of debauchery, but they aren't.

"When cleansing yourself, you must not simply cleanse yourself of impurities. You must also cleanse yourself of yourself."

Maybe, but when does the killing end. Do you stop when the population is 50%, or maybe 25%. Some people, in their misguided hubris would say that it wouldn't stop until it was that person and the "ideal" member of the opposite sex.

The true question is when you kill or allow killing to occur, at what point do you deem it appropriate to stop?

You're right. There are just so many humans that there aren't any species of Pokemon that can establish a sustainable breeding population in natural habitats. We've become such hindrance that if anything like the series or games were to take place, aside from natural breeding processes and technological advancements, the human population would have to be trim down by at least 50%.



That's right... If you want to even consider the possibility of catching Pokemon in the natural world, at least half the human population must die.

I'll get you, eventually.

"I'm gonna pull a play out of The Scorpions book and rock Tegumi like a hurricane."

If you're fucking stupid, that's me... drunk, like always.

Just to be a dick...

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."


But seriously, I don't give a shit if you call me a piece of shit. If I can recognize, in a conversation, that you are talking to me, there really isn't anything that you can't call me.


Well... since I'm, by heritage, Jewish call me firewood...



Oh... I'm terrible.














I think I deserve a couple internets for this.

Don't be so buggy. By way of the many "special" qualities that we've gained through evolution, we're naturally inclined to lie and deceive, even when it comes to ourselves. I mean, seriously, if we weren't lying to ourselves regularly, suicide rates would be a lot higher.

Considering that most primate species require a lot less than 70,000 to sustain an adequate breeding population, my answer would be, generously, around that.

You and I may be the only ones who can ensure that the next generation is best suited to survive. It might create a bit of performance anxiety, but whenever you're ready, let me know and we can make arrangements. Remember, its not about me getting some pussy or you getting some dick, its about what's best for our species.

All you need to know is that they're fucking stupid. I've seen ads for it so many times, I'm surprised I don't have cancer.