Your Clone: Fight or F@%K?

neko-chan · 2010-10-31T21:54:46-01:00

Here is the set up: Assume you are locked in a room with a perfect clone of your current self. There are no doors, no windows, no cracks. The clone will completely disappear in one hour, and then you will be released from that room by, lets say robots, who will then self-destruct. No one will ever see what you do, no one will ever know what happens, no one on the the outside world will ever even know that you were locked in a room with your clone for an hour. So here is the question... [size=12]Do you fuck or fight yourself? [/h] It is important to note two things: 1.) Those are your only choices 2.) You are the only one who will ever have this opportunity. In every dimension and in all of existence you will be the only one to ever have this dilemma made manifest. NO ONE WILL EVER HAVE THIS CHANCE AGAIN. EVER. Now a lot of people would say "Damn thats extreme - I'd just want to talk to myself." But that is the problem, you're talking to yourself. You can do that right now. This clone is going to be you in every way - your memories, your outlook on life, your opinions, likes and dislikes are going to stay the same. The conversation is going to go nowhere. You're just going to be pleasing yourself by talking to someone who agrees with you in every way. So why not take it a step further? And I know what your thinking: "But we're the same sex! Thats gross and illegal in some parts of the world!" Hey look, NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW. Your clone won't even care. Just accept the fact that you're okay taking it from yourself and your clone will feel the same way because you are the same person. Now is the time to tell if your a good kisser without hearing the usual BS from your romantic partner about how you shouldn't, "worry honey, because everyone kisses differently." Hell, if you've ever been bi curious, now is your chance to experiment with the most intimate partner ever - yourself. It's practically like masturbation but think about this added bonus - your clone will know all your turn ons and exactly how to please you the right way. Plus, all those dirty things you never were never able to try with anyone else are now just one-wink-to-your-clone away. Nothing is off-limits. But maybe you're thinking, "My clone probably does know my biggest turn on: The opposite sex." Fine, then it may be time to beat the shit out of yourself. Imagine, there will never be a better fight anywhere. Ever. This is because the both of you to are equally matched. You know each others weakness and strengths. You have the same endurance, speed, and power. You'll be fighting like goddamn ninjas as you'll easily predict and block each others moves. Don't worry about the cops or any hurt feelings, this is just me fighting with myself to determine who is the one[b]. Plus, you can punch yourself for all the dumbshit you've done that nobody ever knew about but knew you deserved to get roundhouse kicked for. [b]But you wont feel it cause you did it to your clone. [size=10]People Die when they're killed!? Are you fucking shitting me!? [/h] So here is your chance to literally kick yourself for not asking out that person to prom. You can literally kill yourself for the stupid shit you did. At least it is better thank porking yourself right? Or is it? The truth may very well be that your an absolute psychopath, and once the clone version of you realizes he only has one hour to live he may just rip out your goddamn eyeballs and stuff them into your ear holes due to the adrenaline and desperation of their situation. You're going to die anyways so you might as well take down the asshole who got you into this situation in the first place. So you might have a great time sparring... ...or maybe you just got in way over your head. Or maybe, you should of just fucked yourself. It would of been so much easier[/i] [size=10]Pictured: Not how you planned things turning out[/h] [size=14][b]So what's the answer? [/h] That is for you to decide. I noticed that this argument tends to result in a lot of girls saying they'd get it on with themselves (which is hot) while guys can't get over the fact they are dealing with the same sex and thus resort to violence (not as hot but still kinda hot). Then again, if you don't find yourself attractive enough to bump uglies with, why would anyone else? Should you do it just for the sake of confirming that someone somewhere wants your body even if it is only a clone of yourself? If you like, check out the full article at Cracked.com. Then immediately come back here and tell me why you'd totally make-love-to/beat-the-shit-out yourself.

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What do you shout?

mtlrpzkpfw

14 years ago

I've thought about this a lot in the past. I always end up chosing to fight myself to the death because, there can be only one.

Kyuubi no Shinigami

14 years ago

fuck, just cuz I could.

b.0ce0n

14 years ago

my clone, sharing my same opinion, would know that we're only interested in opposite sex. We would just "fight" it out. getting hurt is not necessarily part of a fight

Longevity

14 years ago

neko-chan wrote...

I bet you would fuck your clone.

and you wouldn't?

Venalias

14 years ago

A chance to possibly create an unsolvable mystery on how I managed to commit suicide in an impossible way by ending up with a double-kill scenario? FUCK YEAH ITS TIME TO KILL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

PhixeR

14 years ago

TheDarkStarAlchemist wrote...

I'd rape the shit out of that fucker. If he disappears after an hour I'd kill him. Beat the crap out of him and kill him.

Brutally awesome.

I'd fight though.

b6e60dab6b8d2ca07510f6e8c

14 years ago

fight! i've always wanted to have a spar with myself :D

Luke Lawliet

14 years ago

I'd totally fight myself, just because it would be a truly epic experience

Soul_Keeper

14 years ago

The world isn't big enough for 2 of me.

AliceSinWonderland Bunny

14 years ago

I'd fight. I already have someone who's like a twin I don't need a clone

b9450b56d89937ab93c1913eb

14 years ago

FIGHT!

Ive always talked about hi jump kicking someone, who better to test it out on than myself? though I can be pretty fast when I wanna be.. I sure hope I don't dodge & go for some kinda leg submission.

wait.. since I thought of that he'd think of it too right? If I came up with a counter he'd counter my counter until I countered his counter counter resulting in a counter x4. shit I just thought of punching him/me in the balls which means he'll expect it now! *MIND IMPLODES*

OscBot

14 years ago

i would fight myself to see the limit of our strength.....then after well just drink sake xD play games to see who loses and gives up

grimy

14 years ago

Probably fight. Hell, we both do 2 different forms of martial arts and we fight dirty as all hell, shit would be epic, I would ask for a video camera to record it.
Hmm... I don't think I could do myself because I'm not attracted to myself... if that makes any sense?

xXPwnageXx

14 years ago

fuck for 30 minutes then fight for 30 minutes

Moki

14 years ago

Why can't it be gender bent?

Fight.

mantisprime1250

14 years ago

MORTAL COMBAT BAYBAY!!!!!
I always wanted to fight another double sable fighter like myself (we have weapons right?) there can only be one
and maybe play a while being narutard and vs. matches in brawl (who's teh best samus/ZSS user >:])
I think overall it's make me even manlyer

since he knows he's a clone, after a gruesome gore deathmatch i'd told him to take teh fall and have his head chopped off
Then i'd eat his flesh and organs; I've ALWAYS been curious about what human meat tastes like :D (cooked and RAW)
and what better sample than me ;D

LOGIC BREAKRRR

once the clone is made it percieves the world different since knowing he's a clone it would have an identidy crisis and no one can predict how dat would turn out to.

and besides if you eat your clone the metabolism wouldn't dissappear cus let's say you already processed some of its nutrients the energy spent and gained and spent after has already been used and transformed into another type of energy (energy cannot be created or destroyed it can only be transformed) and thus there is no way for the clone to magicaly disappear (matter cannot be created or destroyed only transformed) and energy cannot be 100% concentraded and restored a small % is always lost